Hey my loves,
I finally have some time again to start bringing some life back to my blog, it has been too long!
As previously mentioned, the reason why I was not able to blog much during the past 6 months was because I was in my final year of my degree. I had a massive dissertation project that was due in that took up most of my time. I am currently still waiting on the results of that, and of my exam too, so fingers crossed until that time! I have also accepted a University offer already, and I’m looking forward to a new start there. I will be studying Child & Adolescent Mental Health 🙂 It is exactly the route that I have always wanted to go down. Previously I always wanted to become a pediatrician, however that didn’t work out exactly as planned, hence me doing down the path of Psychology. Being able to work in a clinical setting with children, and having the opportunity to work with Great Ormond Street Hospital would be an absolute dream come true.
I wanted to do another weight-loss progress update, however, one showing my progress over a year. I have to admit 100%, I am terrified about doing this… I find that we usually get caught up in the moment, and never quite look at how far we have actually come in life. As I was casually browsing through some of my old photos, feeling nostalgic, I came across some photos from my 21st birthday. It came as quite a shock looking at the pictures… I knew I was big, but looking at those images, it finally sunk in. It has made me question how I ever got to that stage.. how did I possibly let myself? Has my vision been that distorted for so long? Do I need to invest in some jam-jar strength glasses? I think that subconsciously I knew at that point that I was too heavy, how could I not?.. but I don’t think I ever realized how out of control and unhealthy this was.
People always say that you should never regret anything in life, and that every experience is something that you can learn from. I agree with this to a certain extent. I hardly regret anything in my life at all, I do however regret letting myself get to that stage regarding my weight. I am a person with incredible will-power in my professional life.. I am a hard-worker, dedicated, and most of all, I always have a strong drive to complete any task that I start. Yet somehow, I have never had that drive with regards to my weight. It is strange coming to that realization. In the back of your mind, you know you are damaging your body with every bite of cheesecake, cookies and cake that you take, yet we still do it… Food is an easy source of comfort, I for one know that like no other. During every hard time that I have gone through, I turn to food as my savior. My collection of photographs each reflect the stages of my life during things that I went through, and my weight will indicate whether it was a good or bad time. It is scary to think that you basically turn yourself into an addict, and food is your drug. Something that is legal, your essential need for survival, yet it has the power to kill you. Now the question is, how do you recover from that drug addiction?
You could essentially go cold-turkey. Cutting everything out from one day to the next. I’ve tried this… it does not work unless you are in the right mindset. I suppose it is the same as with any addiction, you firstly really need to want to change. You can say that you want to lose weight and be healthy, but if your mind isn’t with it, and is just not going to happen. Perhaps this was the case with me, or maybe I just needed someone to give me a kick up the backside and point out to me how I was essentially killing myself slowly with poison. Perhaps I had the do the kicking. I think this is the case for me now. I am not losing weight for someone else, I am not trying to impress anyone else with my figure, I am not doing it for a boyfriend, or my best girl friends… no. I am doing it, for me. At the end of the day, you get one body, one life, and it is up to you to decide how you are going to live that life. Are you going to keep looking in the mirror and be miserable? Or do you give yourself a kick and say, hey, I need to make myself happy first.
I am done with being unhappy. I has finally sunk in. I am still young, and I am blessed with the fact that I lose weight incredibly quickly. The only thing I need to match that with is will-power. It is now or never. If I don’t get my act together now, I will never do it. The older you get, the harder it is to lose weight. So for the past few weeks I have really been watching what I am eating, stepped up my exercise routine, introduced Krav Maga into my life, and it has made an incredible difference. I have lost a lot of weight already, and I’ll dare to say that it is around 5kg now since the beginning of summer. However, looking in the mirror everyday, you don’t realize how far you have come. You look at yourself everyday, yet it is hard to see the change. I think that this is the reason why I photograph myself regularly. I am not trying to be vein with my ‘selfies’ (unless I look really good 😉 ) it is a way of marking your progress throughout your weight-loss process. You know what they say, a picture speaks a thousand words, and needless to say… I think this is true in my case with this image.
The first image: me on my 21st birthday, a year ago in April. The second image: me a few weeks ago. I think I needed this as a reminder of why I am doing it, and why I should continue. I guess this is my kick up the backside, and a gentle reminder of how far I have come already. I am nowhere near to where I want to be, but I have made the start. I am looking and feeling better, and after compiling these images together, it has given me the drive and motivation back to keep going. I have taken my pink glasses off, and looked at reality. This is me. This is my body, and this is my life. You have to take matters into your own hands, because nobody else will do it for you.
If you have been through a similar process, please do let me know, I am so curious about the stories behind my readers 🙂